A fear

A current fear, that crops up several times a day. How long am I going to live? What if I get cancer, or get killed in an accident, or choke on a piece of steak? What is going to happen to the children? The prospect of bringing these three into the world, and then dropping out, really bothers me. When I look in the obits each day, I look to see stories about people who lasted into their 80s, not because I want so much to keep on having the daily experience of life - I'm thinking I need to stay around to take care of them, and to stay with Luciana who will be there for them.

My other big fear - dementia!