Nesting

I have been resisting, avoiding, mocking and generally keeping an arm's length from Luciana's nesting behaviors the past couple of months. It was a big concession on my part (arrived at by cogitation rather than through the heart) to go along with her and Karen to Babys 'R Us six weeks ago. (Memorable to me mainly due to my daughter's outburst against babies in general and these babies in particular, and due to our encounter with a friend who had recently had a near-death experience from eclampsia.)

Today I have crossed the line into nesting, and I find I'm loving it. Luciana is in the hospital, so it really is down to me to arrange the twigs and string and leaves into a nice little place for the babies. What I have found is that moving things around, painting walls, buying cribs etc all puts the babies right in front of my focus in a very direct way. It seems obvious I suppose to anyone who isn't partially autistic but it's a pleasant surprise for me! I have been feeling close to the girls (we think they are all girls) this morning as I tote things around and work at preparing the room. Tears are often in my eyes, just from an overflow of feelings.