Valentines visit

We had tried very hard to accomplish things over the phone, setting priorities, deciding on how to handle problems such as broken garbage disposals and leaking ceiling, sharing the exaperating news of this 31 weeks waiting game - each attempt resulting in complete "failure to comunicate". Until he tells me how much his tooth was hurting and how bad the blisters in his hand looked like. It took me a while to realize that I could not hug him and reconnect as we had planned and needed - not until I let go the expectation of keep managing the house while enduring this probabion time in the hospital. There will not be a pink luggage with sweet preemie undies and baby cologne. Visitors will try to sit comfortably on chairs missing felt and they will probably notice the marks of dogs being housebroken over hardwood floors. And we may not even have baby chairs in the family van - simple because we don't have a van...not yet.
We had chinese food in improvised plastic container, the Valentines day floweres never got delivery and no item in our "to do" list was considered during his visit to the hospital. Instead, we looked at some newborn being taken care by a nurse with rare smiles and compulsive cleaning rituals and spoke about clinical stuff, an old habit of ours. We came back home, we came back to each other - everything else moving to the background. Nice to have priorities straightened out.
When the babies come to this world, they may not have every essencial assessory set up. But the will have a Mom and a Daddy that know a bit about finding each other in the midst of chaos.